


hate means never needing to say you're a hipster

by ClassyFangirl



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, generic post-Sburb AU, magic hipster kismeses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-07
Updated: 2012-04-07
Packaged: 2017-11-03 04:36:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/377368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClassyFangirl/pseuds/ClassyFangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hipsters do not know they're hipsters. Their kismesis, however, always knows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hate means never needing to say you're a hipster

**Author's Note:**

> I am capable of writing serious blackrom. This is not one of those instances.

"Okay, see," Eridan began, "my issue here is the whole 'hipsters are losers' thing they got goin' on. What do they got against perfectly good clothes?"

"No, you are completely in the wrong. You defend so-called 'hipster fashion' because you dress like a complete and utter hipster." Rose gestured at her companion ( _kismesis_ , he'd correct, grinning like the world's most idiotic shark) and frowned at his outfit. "I mean, the unnecessary glasses alone are textbook hipster."

"Hey!" he snapped, sounding deeply offended. "I need these glasses, I will have you know. They're for readin'."

Rose's frown deepened. "You aren't reading anything right now."

Eridan lifted his head high. "They also make me look pretty fuckin' refined."

"'Refined'?" she repeated. "Oh, Mr. Ampora, 'refined' my pasty ass. You look like the biggest nerd in three universes filled a bucket with the Hipster King and gave the products to the most spiteful mother grub your species has ever known."

"Like you even know a damn thing about fashion! Oh, yeah, you an' Kan watch all those fuckin' 'fashion shows'- if _Project Runway_ is even a thing, an' I bet it isn't-"

"What in the world would lead you to believe _Project Runway_ is fake, do you think I sit through it for my health-"

" _Knitting_!" Eridan declared smugly. "I have it on good authority that your yarn garbage ain't half as cool as you think it is."

"For the last time, Dave and Dirk are not the authority on 'cool', and I don't do it because it's 'cool'."

Eridan laughed triumphantly. "Gotcha! Fuckin' hipster rule a' thumb, right? Doin' stuff because it's _not_ cool. If _I'm_ a hipster, then that's the pot callin' the kettle a coddamn hipster, right?"

"I am _not_ a hipster."

He gave her a manic grin. "Yes you are."

Her needles slipped out of her sylladex. "Say it one more time. I dare you."

Several people awoke to Eridan yelling " _Rose Lalonde is a no-good fuckin' hipster!_ " as he fled blasts of eldritch magic.

Young caliginous romance was never pretty.


End file.
